The holiday season is in full swing and recent Thanksgiving traditions were just the beginning!  Holiday family gatherings can be joyous – full of connection, good times, and happy memories.  However, while many people gathered with their families and friends over Thanksgiving to celebrate the things for which they were thankful, some were sadly reminded of what kept them away from seeing the same people since last year. 

The holiday season can be difficult to navigate for many reasons.  Maybe some of the views expressed during the recent get-together felt offensive or there were heated arguments.  Memories of adverse childhood experiences may have resurfaced, and those unpleasant memories created what seemed to be a good time to air grievances.  Still others may be managing tragic life losses from the current year or years past that have brought heightened emotions or a shorter fuse that can be lit by the simplest of triggers.  With all of these factors, how is it possible to survive the rest of this holiday season and manage the experience with our families to have a safe, and maybe even joyous, end to the year?

Here are a few tips to help limit family conflict and increase joy this holiday season:

Limit Your Time: Of course, it is wonderful to spend time and share a meal with family over the holidays.  However, if you find yourself feeling anxious about spending the entire day, or several days with family, set a time limit. 

Phone a friend:  Take time to text or speak with a friend who always keep you grounded or seems to have the right thing to say to help you. If a family conversation becomes uncomfortable for you, it is ok to walk away and reach out to that lifeline.

Music / Movies: Holiday music and holiday movies are good ways to distract and decrease tensions by improving the mood of those around you with humor and light-hearted themed music.  Yes, Die Hard is a Christmas Movie!!!

Box Breathing:  Breathing is automatic for our bodies.  Yet when we focus on our breathing during times of stress, we can eliminate the anxiousness we feel building by using a simple technique commonly referred to as box breathing. Here is what it looks like, and it can be done anytime:

Resources
Neves, Silva, 8 Tips to Navigate a Tricky Family Christmas, Psychology Today, Dec. 2024 8 Tips to Navigate a Tricky Family Christmas | Psychology Today Australia

We can help.
For counseling support, reach out to Matthew Cauble, Behavioral Health Care Manager for the St Louis Carpenters Wellness Center at 314.955.2173.

In Kansas City, contact Carpenters Wellness Center-Kansas City at 816.884.9355 to make an in-person or virtual appointment with Jesse Sieve, Behavioral Health Specialist.

If you want to talk to a counselor about anything you’re going through, call Mercy’s MAP at 800.413.8008 (Option #2). MAP offers free, private, short-term counseling for you and anyone who lives in your home.