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“Rub Some Dirt on It”

Carpenters Wellness CenterMatt Cauble, MA, LPCMercy Member Assistance Program | Feb 26, 2025

Overcoming Stigma in Men’s Mental Health

“Rub some dirt on it,” “walk it off,” “only girls cry,” and “be a man” are all common expressions that men hear when growing up.  And today, while different words may be used, the message is still the same.  The most pervasive and devastating stance in our current society is indifference, especially where men’s behavioral health is concerned.  Whether it is the suicide rate, lack of proper healthcare, or simply the refusal to seek behavioral health services, there is a crisis for men in today’s world.

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), men are battling more than just behavioral health concerns.  Men also battle the myths that still exist, often preventing them from accessing services for their concerns.  This is, in a very real way, one of the most impactful factors accounting for the suicide rate of men being nearly four times that of women.  NAMI cites five erroneous beliefs that create barriers for men in seeking behavioral health services:

  1. Behavioral health concerns equal weakness.  An estimated one in ten people have a diagnosable behavioral health concern, while approximately one in five people exhibit symptoms.  Behavioral health concerns are not weaknesses, they can be traced to a combination of biological, psychological, and social factors, as well as life experiences. 
  2. Men should be able to control their feelings.  In general, we cannot always control how we feel, but we can focus our efforts on controlling how we react.  Accessing behavioral health services supports our ability to manage our reactions. 
  3. Real men do not ask for help.  On the contrary, asking for help is a sign of strength.  It demonstrates self-awareness, humility, and the courage to acknowledge when you need support to overcome challenges.  Personal growth occurs and relationships are enhanced in the process.  Seeking behavioral health services is a strong step forward when we are struggling. 
  4. Talking about problems will not help.  The truth is that ignoring problems will not make them go away.  In fact, nearly every study conducted on the counseling process has concluded that if we continue to engage in the therapeutic process, we will feel better.
  5. Men’s behavioral health concerns create a burden for others.  In fact, the opposite is true.  When we are unhealthy physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually, and do not seek treatment, that can create stress and anxiety, burdening those who care about us.  Asking for help from a professional removes that burden.

The key to removing the stigma is to promote behavioral health services and support those who are seeking help with positive, supportive, and affirming statements.  The Cleveland Health Clinic (May 2024) identified 11 tips for men to take care of their mental health:

  • learn to validate your emotions
  • recognize when you are struggling
  • write or journal about your challenges
  • identify your support system
  • make time for your friendships
  • identify unhealthy coping mechanisms
  • embrace healthy hobbies
  • practice meditative breathing
  • exercise
  • address your physical health by meeting with your medical care team
  • seek professional support

We can make a difference in reducing the barriers and stigma to mental health and reduce many of the negative impacts from unmanaged behavioral health by simply being supportive of the men in our life.  Provide encouraging words to our friends and neighbors who are seeking therapy and promote wellness in all aspects.  When we know better, we do better.  The time to make the change is today.

If you would like to speak with a counselor about any challenge you are facing, please contact Mercy’s MAP by calling 800-413-8008 #2. The MAP provides free, confidential, short-term counseling to participants and anyone that lives in their household.

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